i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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