I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
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