We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
