Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
this is an emotional support booty call
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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