Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
