I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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