You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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