I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I can't turn off my feet"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
