Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
