Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize