just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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