it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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