North Korea, Best Korea!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
