Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
