I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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