You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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