i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
