Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Boobs speak an international language.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
