shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
