We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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