lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
