sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
did i just pee glitter
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
