You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
