I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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