I think I died a long time ago.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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