no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
