the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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