I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
