i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
