this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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