Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
