Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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