My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There's always time for handjobs
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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