i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
