If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
