I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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