i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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