Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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