I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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