I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
