DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
