Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
