I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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