): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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