Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
