What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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