oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize
