So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
