Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
