I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
