He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
