she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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