Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just high enough for therapy.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
